Fighting Fair in a Relationship – An Important Skill
Are you afraid of raising your voice because you think it might lead to a nasty argument? Or are you someone who feels greatly angered whenever you come into a confrontation or an argument? Do simple conversations turn into an all-out war? Well, these are the question that will determine your fighting stance since disagreement and arguments are only natural, and there is nothing you can do to avoid them.
Now, here comes a skill you need to remember when situations like these arise: fighting fairly.
Rather than getting in an argument with your partner and risk losing them, try to change your stance and reflect empathy, emotion, and genuine care for each other. You shouldn’t indulge in an argument for the sake of winning but to clear up any misinformation and present your point of view. Unfortunately, many people are unable to do this in a healthy and respectful manner.
Here are a few tips to help you.
1. Stop and Breathe
In an argument, sometimes words are exchanged that can be hurtful and enraging. If you ever find yourself at a point where you are absolutely full of fire, you should take a deep breath and try to be calm. Once you are calm, you’ll be able to understand the situation better and not let your emotions do the talking.
2. Prepare Your Partner
Let’s suppose something has been bothering you a while. You shouldn’t just bring the topic up on the dinner table. Instead, you should discuss it with your partner ahead of the actual conversation. This way, they will have the time to consider their actions and even realize their own mistakes. If not, they’ll definitely be aware of where you are coming from.
3. Don’t Go Off-Track With Your Topic
So, you’ve finally come to the table to discuss the issue. The only thing that can make the conflict worse is if either one of you goes off-track and digs up an old conflict between the two of you. Remember that the point is not to attack your partner. In order to have a better understanding, you should stick to the topic at hand.
4. Walk In Each Other’s Shoes
When you are all riled up, it is hard to think straight and look at each other’s perspective, but it is highly important to discuss an issue. Once you take genuine measures to consider your partner’s perspective and their background, you’ll have a clear picture of their behavior – meaning a better opportunity to work on any shortcomings.
Arguments can be tough, but what’s tougher is an unresolved argument that can weaken the relationship.
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